Repixel ^{profound ambiguous description}

It was a typical Wednesday afternoon on the Moon — quiet, pretty dusty, and for sure frickin’ boring while bare of REALLY intelligent lifeforms.
Suggit-Up, a grumpy alien from the Andromeda sector, had just finished a fine lunch at the only restaurant on the Sea of Tranquility: Moon Rastaurant, which inside enthiusiasts called ‘ Chez Vacuum ‘ cause though the astro-burgers were famously juicy, it just was lacking of nice atmosphere .

🚀 on the Moon

Let me be crystal-clear here: it wasn’t just any restaurant, that’s for sure. This one had extraordinary food (think neutron-star truffled astro-burgers, and antimatter-whoppers with glazed quasar duck (people would die for ’til they did ), Crispy Boson-sauce, exploding when ingested, and much more..), but it simply had no atmosphere at all – call it absent ambience. No music, no lighting (not even candles), and no airconditioning. Most patrons wore extravagant spacesuits or simply evolved past the need to breathe. Suggit-Up, being of the mucus-based persuasion, opted for a helmet with built-in scent diffusers set to “rosemary and existential dread.”

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🦷 The Toothbrush

After devouring an eight-course meal served by a group of bored three-legged robotic sommeliers named Neveer, Ali and Nate, Suggit-Up returned to his crater-side pod to engage in a sacred alien ritual: brushing his mouthparts.
You see, Suggit-Up didn’t use a regular toothbrush. He enjoyed this brandnew Mexican gringo version of the old model called ‘Amigo-Home- brush’, an AI-powered dental wand equipped with:

Bluetooth

pretty useless on the Moon

4D-tongue sensor

extra senitive

miniature speaker

giving unsolicited sass in 37 galactic languages, a verbose robot talking nonstop in dozens of dialects and multiple sexes preselectable, continuing beyond space and time

It even had the formular in the Owner’ manual:

      Σ Ψ = (ħ · g{88}*M³)  ≛ 6C ⋶ 
        + 6√ ( (f₀² + γ·ω) / (v_s² > c_sω²))
        − ∇·Φ(r,t) + ∂²Ψ/∂t² if ≩ 42

      Ω³= ∫₀^¾ ≈[ ρ(r)·g / (ΔTHC + f/γ7) ]xr
        + (Ξp84 · λβ / ħ) · log(1 + α·f³)

      Λ ≈ ( EM_sup · c² / (E·M·c²) ) ÷ ( ~∇F³¼ )
        + ( ω · e^(−σ/λ) ) · tλ(β·ν)

       ⇒   ≛ ∞ ~ 6x7¾ ≩ ⋈ 42 

This device was obviously used all about the western quadrant, mainly in the solar system, procuced on the moons of Saturn.

Well..

The moment Suggit-Up started brushing, the toothbrush chirped to life:

Bleep! Calculating tooth coverage… Warning: Upper left fang number 3 has been grossly neglected.
“Shut it, bristle overlord,” Suggit-Up grumbled, continuing his circular motions.
Circular motions detected. Intensity: Weak. Technique: Try harder, space slob.

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Post-Brush Analysis

After a solid 2.3 minutes of alien-approved brushing, the toothbrush spit out a full report onto the bathroom mirror screen:

️

🦷 DENTAL DIAGNOSTICS REPORT

• – 97% coverage
• – Missed: Upper left fang #3 (AGAIN)
• – Plaque detected: 4% (mostly regret)
• – Breath rating: “Mildly lethal to small planets”
• – Recommendation: Less neutron sauce next time

The speaker buzzed again, now in a smug British accent:
“You know, with your diet, you’re one lasagna away from gingivitis that could collapse a moon colony.”

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👽 The Existential Crisis

Looking at his reflection — his glowing 5 dimensional-able eyes — Suggit-Up sighed. Not because he was sad, but because the sigh activated his aromatherapy mode and he liked the lavender setting.
He pondered deeply, “Why did I spend 600 galactic credits on a toothbrush that judges me harder than my ex-mating pod? I am a superiror being compared to these flakes and even while I can foresee the friggin’ future, I couln’t prevent mtself from doin’this..”
Was oral hygiene really worth this level of emotional damage?
He had come to the Moon for fine food and peace — but instead found existential dread and a toothbrush with attitude.

🛎 EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Bellboy Walty Martian Speaks Out

Interviewer: So, Walty, you were the one who escorted Suggit-Up to his pod after the meal at Chez Vacuum. What was that like?

🧑🛎️ Bellboy Walty Martian (Human, 42, Earth-born):
“Oh yeah, Suggit-Up. Nice fella. Bit slimey. Tipped in uranium chips, which… ya know, HR doesn’t love. But classy alien. Wore a pink cape, can you believe it? And he smelled like disappointment and basil.”

Interviewer: Did he mention anything about the restaurant?

W. Martian:
“He said the neutron ravioli ‘tasted like a dying star’s final poem’. I think that’s a compliment. But then he paused, looked around the crater, and said, ‘Why does this place feel like the inside of a dentist’s waiting room?’ So… yeah. Moon hospitality could use some jazz.”

Interviewer: What about the toothbrush incident?

🧑🛎️Walty Martian:
“Oh, that toothbrush. Thing nearly bit me. I saw it berate him in 3 languages and then shame-vibrate. Suggit-Up just stood there, mumbling, ‘I brushed you in three galaxies and this is how you treat me?’ Poor guy. Honestly, I think that toothbrush needs therapy.”

Interviewer: Final thoughts?

🧑🛎️Walty Martian:
“I’ve carried luggage for sentient gas clouds and once watched a Venusian noble eat soup with his forehead. But that AI toothbrush? That’s the most judgmental thing I’ve ever met. I miss the old days — when your toothbrush didn’t talk back.”

Final Thoughts

So, what did Suggit-Up learn?

1. Don’t eat antimatter-glazed duck without flossing.
2. Never expect ambiance at a restaurant where the vacuum of space is considered a feature.
3. And definitely, never buy a toothbrush smarter than you – especially if it can file performance reviews !

As he drifted off to sleep that night, the toothbrush whispered gently from its charging pod:

“Sweet dreams. Don’t forget: Upper left fang. Or I’ll tell your dentist.”

Moral of the story:

Even aliens with interstellar taste and advanced hygiene tech can’t escape the universal truth — floss or be roasted by your AI toothbrush.

🌕 Editor’s Note:
Bellboy Walty Martian has since transferred to a quiet Mars outpost where the only guests are rocks and the toothbrushes are mercifully dumb.
Take care — and don’t forget to brush that upper left fang!🖖🛸✨

About:
Since Vacuum Robots already are obviously able to handle your personaldata, and yet today you can get yourself some trendy smartbrush, which “comprehensively” monitors your health through advanced scanners, and provides a “Smart Habit” via Electric learning: coaching AI-powered help and immediately feeds back on brushing effectiveness, so, what do YOU think: Your health insurance won’t get your data and then denies help?

At the time i created this article, I didn’t know how far this AI smartbrushes were developed already.. if you wanna dive into it, here’s an article on the AI based toothbrushes – Multidisciplinary Digital Publishing Institute